FrenchBenj

Good Find

Not that anyone really uses Friendster anymore, but I just found out you can restrict people from selected continents to send you messages... How very useful (no offense MaPaLo Mapetoc from Kuala Lumpur, whom I have never met and have nothing in common with, but no, I don't want to be your friend long time*).

*: yes, that's a slightly racist joke. Your point?

Labels: funny

3/10/2008 11:40:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Tough Life

This is a week old, but ya gotta hand it to the Times: they know how to make you feel sorry for the poor, poor people that have to hunt for a townhouse in London, with a mere $4M to spend. I mean, life's, like, so, hard, y'know?

Labels: funny

2/14/2008 09:51:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

LOL

Labels: funny

2/07/2008 08:25:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Totally Awesome

Labels: funny

1/12/2008 11:05:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Ladyboy

Meanwhile, it's nice to see some things never change - this was in my Friendster inbox:

Labels: funny

1/06/2008 11:09:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Did You Know?

Sarah and I found ourselves at the friendly local dyke bar yesterday, en route to the boy bars, and struck up several conversations with muff-diving enthusiasts. Well it turns out, to my amazement, lesbos also have tops and bottoms! I guess then the butch ones are the tops? As far as mechanics go, I didn't ask for too many details, but the very fact they too make the distinction was enough to keep my mind entertained all evening (that is, until the Ketel clouded it).

Labels: funny

11/17/2007 10:29:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Martha's Coping Mechanisms

Caught this on the Today show the other day: Martha going over some Thanksgiving tips and then over her Mom's health:

My mother [...] is very very ill, and I don't even know if she's gonna make it to Thanksgiving, but Mom, good luck!! And, hm, but we have a really great roster of guests on our show. We're cooking Turkey [..] We have all kinds of great stuff going on.

Surely, she's coping or something, but the "Good Luck Mom!" seemed a bit off...

Labels: funny

11/14/2007 06:09:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Humor

Saw this on my new favorite way to waste a ton of time - Facebook. No idea where it comes from but almost made me spit my drink.

Labels: funny

10/21/2007 12:32:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Condo Marketing

I just love all the promotional materials I get in my inbox about random condo developments. They're always so lyrical. "This is your chance to be the architect of your lifestyle." Well okay, then. The tag line for a proposed development is "live at the intersection of here and now". I guess that's better than living at the intersection of "nowhere and never". Seriously, who comes up with that shit?

Labels: funny

10/18/2007 09:53:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Awesomeness

From the best professional blog ever:

In Economic Terms, You Are a Depreciating Asset

Update: oops. Link updated.

Labels: funny

10/04/2007 07:07:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Flip-Flop

#1: "Yes, I am guilty"
#2: "Wait a minute, did I say 'guilty'?. I mispoke. Besides, I ain't queer!"

#1: "I resign."
#2: "Wait, I mispoke again. I am not resigning."

Give it up, Grandpa...

Labels: funny

9/05/2007 07:26:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Sensitive Ad of the Year

Whenever I need a little pick-me-up, all I have to do from now on is watch this Vagisil ad which subtly compares the itch and odor "down there" to the stinks from various animals, including a skunk. Is that a lobster in your panties, or are you excited to see me?

Click here

Labels: funny

8/06/2007 07:36:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Es Muy Caliente en la Playa

Spent a few hours this afternoon with dearest Josh at the Montrose Avenue beach and had a very lovely time - no sunburn. We realized pretty quickly we should probably have gone to the gay beach: 97% of the population comprised Mexican families playing in and out of the water.

What was very odd is that a lot of them would just go in the water fully clothed. When they come out to the lakefront, they typically set up entire kitchens (boomboxes playing La Cucaracha included) around BBQ's and always amaze me with their level of organization. Can't they apply the same skills to remembering to take bathing suits when going to the beach? We saw one guy come out of the water with dress pants and a leather belt, and a woman come out in stretchy jeans, a lacy top, and a light cardigan. Oy papi, let's go in the water fully clothed!

The beach itself was also quite filthy. So next time, it's goodbye Mexicans, hello gays in Speedos and thongs (God help us).

Labels: funny

8/05/2007 07:11:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Lovely

You've probably seen the ads for Glaxo's new weight-loss drug, Alli. Supposedly works wonderful, is FDA-approved, yaddi yadda. The web site is all about women losing weight and feeling good about themselves. Well, it's also about the side effects of a drug that makes you unable to digest the fat in your food (fat which, clearly, has to get out somehow). The Alli website offers very helpful suggestions to manage the fact that you very well may shit yourself at, literally, a second's notice:

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work

Yeah, dark pants will really save the day in this situation...

PS: This reminds me of this charming story
PPS: Yes, I am juvenile, what's new?

Labels: funny

7/26/2007 10:28:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Schadenfreude

Labels: funny, random

6/08/2007 05:53:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Eww

This morning at my favorite coffee shop someone ordered an iced half and half latte with sugar-free syrup. Now, to be perfectly clear, the drink basically consists of a tall glass of cold half and half (not that one, this one is half whole milk half heavy cream), a shot of espresso, and some syrup.

Thank Gawd the syrup is sugar-free, otherwise the whole thing would be unhealthy...

What. The. Fuck.

Labels: funny

4/27/2007 09:40:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Alexander Innovation Wizard

The worst thing about flying is the excrutiatingly boring hours when you can't use your iPod or are done with Us Weekly and have to resort to browsing the SkyMall catalog. In some instances, however, you find some amazing gems.

This time I was drawn to the two-page spread dedicated to the ugly-ass Gravity Defyer shoes that have springs in them (so you can "catapult your career with the elegant shoe of the future"). The most intriguing part of the page? The "inventor", Alexander Innovation Wizard. With a face like that and a pose like that on the company logo, you know the dude's a winner... Imagine the photo-shoot: "I'm gonna put my hand like that, so it looks like I'm a wizard". Hawt.

Labels: funny

4/07/2007 01:43:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

The Magic of Television

I was partaking in my favorite just-got-back-from-work pasttime of watching Barefoot Contessa reruns when the Magic of TV hit home. See, she goes to get a chicken at some farm in the Hamptons. Cue the shots of the quaint and adorable farm, with Mr. Farmer coming out with a white chicken in his arms, almost lovingly carrying it. Cut to next shot, literally, and he's handing Ina a wrapped bundle of meat, sans feathers or life. Magic! Next shot, of course, was Ina making sweet love to the bird and pouring butter all over it...

Labels: funny, tv

3/31/2007 12:32:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Gay TV

Is there anything, anything at all in this world, that's more gay that a show about hairstylists on Bravo, hosted by Jaclyn Smith? Yup, I think not.

Labels: funny, tv

3/28/2007 11:57:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Subliminal Advertising

You know how some commercials just overdo it? They really want to drive a point home, but in so doing, give you far too much to think about. This occurs more frequently with hemorroid cream, anything Vagisil related ("the virtually leak-free solution!"), or, of course, any feminine hygiene product (shudder).

The latest for the StayFree "dry max" thingie is such an ad. It features three lovely girls enjoying an afternoon of sun on a rooftop. All of a sudden, the water tank next door bursts. What's a girl to do? Why, reach in her bag for her box of pads, of course. I'm not too familiar with the topic, but how often must you change those when your friend's visiting? Do you actually walk around with a fucking box of it? Anyway, now Blondie's equipped to soak up the hundreds of gallons of liquid leaking from the tank. Subliminal message: even if you rag, literally, enough to fill up a pool, StayFree will keep you dry.

Charming.

Labels: funny

2/25/2007 03:39:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

I'm Going to Hell for This One

Anyone else kinda hopes her wooden leg is going to simply detach in the middle of a little dance number and swing into the audience?

Labels: funny

2/21/2007 08:29:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Who Dunnit?

The world needs to know.

My money's on Bobby Trendy. He hasn't been in the news lately so his indictment for the murder will be his perfect occasion to parade on the steps of the courthouse in full leopard-print regalia.

Labels: funny

2/09/2007 09:44:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

German Fashion in Das Haus

In class tonight, someone was wearing a tight ribbed brown T-shirt (one of those shirts Guidos wear on their big nights out in the City), neatly tucked into a pair of black pants and with black shoes.

If only the GMAT had a fashion exam...

Labels: funny, life

2/01/2007 10:59:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Don't Look Directly at Medusa

The above is an uncomprehensible promo for some Oxygen (the poor woman's Lifetime) show, starring, obviously, Lisa "Silicon Girl" Rinna. In one move, she manages to draw attention to how fake her lips and boobs are. Is she proud of the surgeon's work??

Labels: funny

1/23/2007 09:05:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Note To Mr. Al-Zawahiri

I know, Ayman, you hate us and we're all going to suffer millions of pains while you play around in Heaven with fourty virgins or whatever (although with inflation, it might be fifty), but if you're gonna say that, make sure we don't get distracted by other things in the video.

First off, that dot on your forehead? Very distracting. Surely a world terrorist such as you has access to face creams in Pakistan or whatever? Get some Proactiv. Or maybe a good foundation. Not to be mean, but you're ten minutes away from an Extreme Makeover (Terrorist Edition)...

Then, you must really watch what you wear. That white turban on a black garb and against a black background made your head look detached from your body (where you imitating Saddam, you silly goose?) I almost fell off the treadmill when I saw your head move back and forth, as if it was hovering around spouting death threats. Not very professional, buddy.

Sometimes, it's not the message, it's the delivery, so be careful next time (well, if you're still alive for it..)

Labels: funny

1/22/2007 09:44:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

This Just In

Hil' has a fugly couch. And that pillow? Gurl, don't you have any gay advisers that could take you shopping at Room and Board?? Really now, come on...

Labels: funny

1/20/2007 11:57:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Will the Madness Ever End?

Oxygen, the other Television for Women, is set to start a show called Tease in which stylists compete doing, well, hair. The hostess is the lip-collagen addict Lisa Rinna (who should be about 6 months from the Surreal Life by now) and each episode "will feature two up-and-coming hair stylists as they face-off in an outrageous, Olympics-style tournament."

That's some good TV right there, people! Yet another golden opportunity for gay people to shine...

Labels: funny, tv

1/08/2007 11:27:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Cop the Parisian Attitude

The ever so helpful Paris City Hall has put together a guide for foreigners to be able to fake being Parisian when visiting the city ("You don't need to speak French to understand Parisians or to blend into the crowd") by imitating the facial codes people use.

My favorite? La Moue. The instructions are awesome:

Start by looking bored
Pucker your lips
Shake your head slowly for more impact

Labels: france, funny

1/07/2007 10:16:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Genius in Advertising, E.D. Style

Just saw the best ad evah for Cialis. As you may or may not know, Cialis is an ED drug that differentiates itself from the competition by allowing its user to be able to pitch a tent any time over a 36 hour period. Apparently with the others you pop it and gotta jump Grandma right away.

Anyway, the ad in question shows a couple nice looking folks in their late fifties, early sixties, being all romantic in their living room. They kiss, holds hands, and apparently decide to do the nasty (in the middle of the afternoon, the horror!) Well, they haven't set one foot on the stairs that who barges in? The grandkids, running with glee towards Grandma and Grandpa, unknowingly giving Granps a major case of blue balls. What does the couple do? Logically, they'd be pissed, but no, they just brush it off with a smile, clearly thinking: "oh well, we'll just have to fuck later". They can, since the pill gave 36 hours to Granps to be able to do the deed. Ew.

I feel the pain of the advertisers that have to come up with such crap...

Labels: funny

1/02/2007 06:44:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

A Much Too Merry Christmas

For the second time in as many weeks, my office building had carolers spreading the “holiday cheer” through the lobby. This got me to thinking, who does that? Clearly those people know how to sing, fairly well I might add, so they have some sort of training. Did they wake up one day thinking “I will put on a retarded polyester costume and sing mind-numbing Christmas songs to office workers that will ignore me?” I guess it’s probably the same career path that pushes budding singers to end up recording jingles for urinal cake commercials.

The whole concept of carolers is really just messed up. In a recent Hallmark commercial, a family answers the door, only to find their neighbors (Mom, Dad, 2.3 kids, dressed in Christmas-y sweaters) on their doorsteps. They excitedly say “oh, they’re going to sing” (wtf!), but no, the neighbors open a Hallmark singing holiday card and the whole group just kind of dances to it; the whole scene literally drips of holiday spirit. Really, who the fuck does that? The caroling kids are teens and yet they don’t mind being subjected to this? Had my parents done that to me I would have run away immediately, all the way to Russia if necessary. But then again, if our neighbors had showed up like that, my parents would probably have locked the door and turned off the lights.

Some American traditions are best left to Wisteria Lane and Hallmark commercials.

Labels: funny

12/15/2006 11:02:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Classic.

This is so hilarious... I love the caller's eager "that has never happened!" and the GVC Fembot's "well, we do have slippery floors here" or "he's moving, he's OK".

This reminds me of Sellevision, by the excellent Augusten Burroughs. It's a fantasized behind-the-scenes look at home shopping networks and is perhaps the funniest book I have ever read.

Funny

Labels: funny

9/28/2006 10:52:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Kids These Days...

As if MySpace wasn't shallow enough, there is now a web site, apparently mostly used by teenagers, where people list the stuff they own. That's it. You go on the self-proclaimed "World's Largest Repository of What People Own" and check out what people have. And then what? "You have an iPod too? Let's totally be friends!"

It's just so sad...

Funny

Labels: funny

9/16/2006 09:21:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Ouch, NYT, Ouch

I'm still not completely clear on what the article is actually about, but the juxtaposition of Mischa Barton's photos with the headline cracked me up.

Funny

Labels: funny

9/16/2006 10:58:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

CNN Copywriters Aren't Nice

I just love this headline. And they're not even calling her anything close to "singer" 9since the article is about her album), merely referring to her as "socialite".

Funny

Labels: funny

8/21/2006 11:24:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Fun With Drugs

God bless the FDA and its 1997 liberalization of Direct to Consumer prescription drug advertising. Not only did that give a few of my friends jobs to do, but it provides for endless hours of fun as advertisers try to come up with inventive ways of reciting the inevitable litanies of horrible, painful side effects.

"This drug will do wonders for your migraines!" "Side effects include irritation, diarrhea, facial swelling, uncontrollable bowel movements, and glaucoma. Stop using if you experience death."

In my view, the simplest is probably the best. Just recite them as a regular disclaimer, not as part of the little script the actor is following.

Below is an ad for some contraceptive drug. I just love those three sexy women, sharing cosmos at some swanky bar, while one of them recites side effects of the pill and reminds them that it won't prevent them from becoming diseased whores. And then they try to pass it off as her being a doctor and all, but have to postface it right away with a "doctor dramatization" disclaimer.

Classic!

Funny

Labels: funny

8/21/2006 10:45:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Who Are These People?

Y'know, of course, to each their own, really. But come on, a convention of gay geeks dressed up as life-size furry animals and playing Magic card games? Try to explain that carry-on to the TSA screeners...

Funny

Labels: funny

8/19/2006 10:21:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Best Blanche Devereaux Line. Ever.

Yes, I love the Golden Girls. Shuddup.

Funny

Labels: funny

8/13/2006 11:05:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

The Future of Travel

I'm sure everyone has heard about the recent "events" in the UK and the new rules concerning air travel. Here's what I anticipate future rules will cover:

All passengers to be photographed, fingerprinted before boarding.
All passengers to be forbidden from moving about the cabin at any time during the flight. Colostomy bags and catheters to be provided by your friendly flight attendant at a cost of $5. Change appreciated.
All passengers to be cavity searched at security checkpoints before and after boarding.
All passengers to wear orange jumpsuits and be chained on the plane, to avoid interference with onboard National Guard personnel.
All passengers to be anchored with cinder block and thrown into pool of water; God to decide which ones are not evil.

In all seriousness, this is just getting ridiculous. The recent UK plot was uncovered because of counter-terrorism coordination between countries, not because someone was found at the airport trying to smuggle explosives on board. The key to fighting terrorism is invisible, unpublicized surveillance, not insane restrictions on the public that's supposed not to be terrorized.

If a terrorist really wants to kill a lot of people, he can always strap a bunch of dynamite to his body and take the NY subway at rush hour. How would you deter that? Inspect every single subway rider? Obviously not. Same goes with forbidding people from taking lip gloss on board. It's all just a big case of CYA from our governing elites...

Labels: funny, travel

8/11/2006 08:42:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Excellence in Journalism

I'm sorry, but this sort of shit really just kills. Here's the headline of an AP story on Yahoo News:

Sexual lyrics prompt teens to have sex

Here's what the study in question actually said:

Teens whose iPods are full of music with raunchy, sexual lyrics start having sex sooner than those who prefer other songs, a study found.

Interesting way to confuse cause with consequence. Maybe, just maybe, those teens who listen to songs with "raunchy, sexual" lyrics chose those songs because they're little pervs, not the other way around.

I shoulda stopped all that GMAT studying, I see critical reasoning questions everywhere now...

Labels: funny

8/08/2006 06:19:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

A Better Use for Treadmills

This is so very, very cool.

Labels: funny

8/06/2006 12:39:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

The Spam That's Not Even Trying

This has got to be the laziest spam I have ever seen. Are they actually trying to sell me something, or cause me to click on a link? What's more, they managed to bypass Gmail's spam filters, so they know what they're doing. I guess they just need to work on content a little more.

Labels: funny

7/28/2006 06:51:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Sorry

Sorry, Mr. Homeless Man. When you asked me for some money I shouldn't have said "no, thanks". Been distracted by work lately.

Labels: funny

7/20/2006 09:17:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Somewhere, a Stage Mom Is Crying

Like the kids stuck being mushrooms at the school play, this one on the right was stuck with holding the TM sign in this Oscar Mayer commercial.

Look Mom, I'm a legal disclaimer!

Funny

Labels: funny

7/05/2006 07:42:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Lame Headline

This has got to be the lamest NYT headline. Ever.

Funny

Labels: funny

6/29/2006 07:52:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Harlequin

This morning on the bus I sat next to a lady engrossed in some Harlequin novel. I managed to sneak a peak at the first line of a chapter, and was not disappointed:

"You're a vile creature, Kincade MacKay", Elizabeth said.

Kincade Mackay? Where the hell do they get those names? I'm guessing shortly thereafter Elizabeth's loins were on fire and she and Kincade did the nasty in the chateau's moat.

Funny

Labels: funny

6/22/2006 10:34:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Scanner Darkly

Besides having a retarded title, Scanner Darkly's posters are gorgeous works of graphic art, featuring Keanu Reeves, Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder and Robert Downey Junior. I guess they didn't want to use the mugshots...

Labels: funny

6/22/2006 09:38:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Oops

Seen on Fox News Chicago yesterday: the news chick starts talking about Grarfield, the movie with an opening statement about the "Fat Cat". Too bad they're rolling the wrong video, and showing instead a segment with a fat girl being weighed.

I love the newscaster's face when they cut back to her, she can barely stop laughing.

Funny

Labels: funny

6/18/2006 10:58:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Easy Pun

The Home Depot: You Can Smoke It, We Can Help

Funny

Labels: funny

6/14/2006 11:04:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Barefoot Contessa Drinking Game

I am a wee bit obsessed with the Barefoot Contessa. Anyone that rich yet that relaxed about life get my adoration, especially when they cook like she does. But, like most Food Network personalities, she has her quirks. Hence a very easy drinking game:

Drink a shot every time she:

Explains what a food mill is
Explains you can get it at the hardware store (sorry lady, but Home Depot ain't got that)
Mentions she lives in East Hampton
Laughs raunchilly
Has a gay guy over for lunch/dinner/brunch/picnic (one shot per fag)
Uses more than 2 stick of butter at once (one shot per stick)

You'll be drunk by the time she talks about her table arrangements.

God, I love her so much...

Labels: funny

6/08/2006 11:21:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Diplomatic Humor

Cute cartoon in this week's New Yorker.

Funny

Labels: funny

6/08/2006 11:20:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

A Burning Bush Would Have Sufficed

This is just too funny. A woman in Atlanta was praying for the saftey of her loved ones during a bad thunderstorm. God promptly replied by sending a huge thunderbolt through her house and sending her to the ER. I guess he had a case of the Mondays.

Says the article:

But while she prayed, lightning suddenly exploded, blowing through the linoleum and leaving a blackened area on the concrete. Brown wound up on the floor, dazed and disoriented by the blast but otherwise uninjured.

Funny

Labels: funny

6/02/2006 09:42:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Humble As Ever

Interesting feature in Forbes.com about some famous people's first jobs and how much they made and all that. They interview Madeline Albright, Michael Eisner, George Steinbrenner and, inexplicably, His Trumpisty Himself.

To the question "What has been your biggest failure?", he characteristically replied:

It hasn’t happened yet, and hopefully it won’t.

I guess two bankruptcies don't count.

Funny

Labels: funny

5/23/2006 08:26:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Bitchy Fortune

Found this wity my take-out for thelocal Thai restaurant:

Well, fuck you too...

Funny

Labels: funny

5/17/2006 09:20:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

The DirectBuy She-Mouth

As a direct consequence of the previously mentioned, I have found myself in front of the tube at odd hours of the morning, also known as Infomercial Prime Time. One of them is the DirectBuy schtick, in which the Lady With the Biggest Mouth in the World tells you about the amazing benefits of DB. Her facial expressions, as she owns that giant mouth of hers, are priceless.

Funny

Labels: funny

5/15/2006 03:29:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Population Paste?

Sometimes called the Philipino (or Thai?) Paris Hilton, Bryan Boy is nothing short of a phenomenon. Eccessively egocentric, the boy who, apparently, comes from disgusting amounts of money, has his maid (sister?) follow him around and take paparazzi-style pictures of him.

That'd be tragic if he weren't so damn funny. He clearly grossly exagerates many aspects of his life (one would hope), but manages to produce content that's just really entertaining.

In his latest post, he further convinces us he's just a filthy whore. My favorite quote?

(Yes, I took a screenprint; I don't even want to think about what kind of traffic Google would send my way with keywords like that...)

Funny

Labels: funny

5/12/2006 08:07:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Florida Waterfront

The beautiful city of Cape Coral, FL:

Talk about planned community. Is it still considered waterfront if the only water is a man-made canal the width of a common driveway? And then, what's the point? To breed more mosquitos?

Labels: funny

5/12/2006 06:42:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Loves Conquers All Things Except Poverty and Toothache

Spam can be so... lyrical.

Thank you Tranye (wtf kinda name is that?), but I do not, thankfully, suffer from [E]rectile [D]ysfunction.

Funny

Labels: funny

5/11/2006 06:47:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Shocker

No way! A Kennedy in rehab? It just can't be!

Gotta say, that family's really never been the best publicity for Dems.

Labels: funny

5/05/2006 08:02:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Crap Hoover

Count on the Swedes to come up with great environmental ideas and on the French to actually buy them. A company in Sweden is manufacturing a new way of disposing of garbage. Instead of putting your bags in the usual trash bin, you put it into some sort of tube; when the tube is full, a giant vacuum is created, sucking the garbage all the way into a sorting station, potentially miles away. Think of those funny vacuum money tubes at the bank, but with garbage.

Some town in France is developping a new neighborhood and getting the system. Sounds cool, I suppose. But at a cost of around $3500 per household, I'm not sure it really make sense.

At least it's still cheaper than a bridge to nowhere.

Labels: funny

5/04/2006 07:58:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Awesome

The very cool Improv Everywhere staged a prank on Best Buy, sending hordes of their volunteers to a Chelsea store in BB's standard khakis-and-blue-shirt uniform, and watched with glee as store managers panicked ("Thomas Crown Affair! Thomas Crown Affair!").

Brilliant, classic, and all the more enjoyable it was done aginst the Most Evil Electronics Store Ever. You really must read the story on IE's site to grasp the classicness* of this.

via Gizmodo
*: Not a word, I know, but it's my blog, I'll make up words if I feel like it.

Funny

Labels: funny

5/01/2006 06:50:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Genetics Are Cruel

Donald Jr. took after his Dad, Ivanka took after her Mom (and her Mom's plastic surgeon).

PS: I just thought of a joke: Junior's got as many chins as Dad has buildings. Aren't I clever?

Funny

Labels: funny

4/24/2006 07:31:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Grandma's Lysol

Who knew? Lysol used to be a vaginal douche. The ad is really just priceless, in the very 50's-like let's-blame-the-submissive-wife style. For the advertisers, the reason the man's not interested in fucking the missus anymore? Her pussy stinks.

Says the ad:

Often a wife fails to realize that doubts due to one intimate neglect shut her out from happy married love.
A man marries a woman because he loves her. So instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, she should question herself. Is she truly trying to keep her husband and herself eager, happy married lovers? One most effective way to safeguard her dainty feminine allure is by practicing complete feminine hygiene as provided by vaginal douches.

Think about that next time you wash your floors or your kitchen counters.

Oh, and by the way, there's an online "museum" dedicated to the topic. Nice!

Funny

Labels: funny

4/23/2006 11:45:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

Vanity, in Death

The NYT reports today on the newest trend in the burial business (!): private mausoleums. Basically a bunch of rich oldies are getting marble and granite monuments built to the glory of, well, themselves, to carry them into the next world. With prices starting at $250,000 and going into the millions, it is, let's face it, a retarded thing to do.

Says one client from Florida:

"The mausoleum says, 'I'm really significant in this world, I think I'm really significant to my family,' and this is one way to communicate that to the community,"

Wow. Get a life, lady. No pun intended.

As far as I'm concerned, you can cremate me and scatter my ashes at Plage Notre-Dame on Porquerolles island. Let the fishes have a go.

Funny

Labels: funny

4/17/2006 08:38:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

European Fashion

In this week's New Yorker.

Funny

Labels: funny

4/13/2006 07:50:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Iran Is Sooo Fabulous!

Wee! Let's dance with the doves and the blue sky and the bars of Uranium Hexafluoride! Wee! Oh look! My eyes are peeling off and my skin is burning. Weee!

On a more serious note, read this for a glimpse of the future, courtesy of our favorite neocons.

Washington

Labels: funny

4/12/2006 06:59:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

It's Official

Jennifer Lopez is now black, as evidenced by her skin tone yesterday. Lady, ever heard of SPF? It's good stuff...

Labels: funny

3/06/2006 06:40:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

The TVC Weighs In on the Oscars®

Whenever I'm bored and the Interweb SuperHighways are boring as well, I turn to the oft-hilarious Tradional Values Coalition. They recently posted an article on their Oscar predictions.

The title says it all: Oscars Likely To Go To Homosexual-Themed And Anti-American/Capitalist Films.

An overview of their analysis (emphasis mine):

"Brokeback Mountain," the story of two bisexual male sheepherders who repeatedly committed adultery against their wives to engage in homosexual sex. ("Brokeback" will likely get picture of the year, for its assistance to the homosexual agenda.) The bisexuals in the film have been billed as "gay cowboys," in most media coverage.

"Capote," about the homosexual author Truman Capote will likely receive an award—and millions of viewers will be subjected to lectures about homosexuality and tolerance.

"Transamerica," a film about a male-to-female transsexual will also likely be honored by the Academy.

Another film likely to be awarded is “Syriana,” starring Bush-hater George Clooney. Syriana is critical of our nation’s war on terror.

“North Country” is likely to win an award as well because of its anti-employer theme.

“Good Night, and Good Luck” will also be awarded for its smear of Senator Joseph McCarthy and his efforts to expose Communist subversion within our government.

That's some powerful crack you're smokin', peeps!

Funny

Labels: funny

3/04/2006 01:58:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Hi Hi

Real-life Simpsons opening sequence... Awesome.

via GorillaMask

Funny

Labels: funny

3/04/2006 11:37:00 AM - - del.icio.us - digg

I'd Say That's Got Some Shelf Presence

A very talented graphic designer has the answer to "what if Microsoft were to design the iPod packaging?" Must-see!

via the very excellent Consumerist

Tech

Labels: funny

3/02/2006 07:20:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Ahem

Saw an ad for this on a bus today. Lil' Kim, who was sentenced to 366 days in prison for perjury in some shootout case, is chronicling her last 14 days of Freedom in a BET documentary called Countdown to Lockdown. Wow. Are they trying to fit a stereotype?

Labels: funny

2/28/2006 10:33:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Fight the Righteous Fight

Lifetime pulled from the Dish Network. No more Golden Girls or movies with possible titles such as:

Touched By An Uncle
Timmy's Tumor
STALKING MY STALKER
Why Always Me?! A martyr's true story
I STALKED MY RAPIST
I Raped My Stalker
My Wife and SIDS

Media

Labels: funny, tv

1/30/2006 06:14:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Apologies in Advance

I know I haven't blogged in days, so the following will seems dreadfully trite and deficient, but the dog just passed gas, in a very audible way, and then looked at her butt with a very puzzled look.

Just thought you should know.

Life

Labels: funny

1/05/2006 06:02:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Blasphunny

The Crucifixion scene from Passion of the Christ with the Benny Hill soundtrack. Priceless!

Oh shut up, I'm already going to Hell anyway.

PS: Link now fixed. Sorry 'bout dat.

[via GorillaMask]

Funny

Labels: funny

12/12/2005 06:50:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Should Have Stopped Growing Up

Harry's starting to look scary.

Labels: funny

12/05/2005 10:56:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

Some Fun for the Evening

It's a joke I got a while back. After wasting a good hour on ImageReady, there it is:

(Click on the image to start the animation, or to refresh it)

Funny

Labels: funny

11/07/2005 08:23:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg

The Truth About the Riots

Pissed that she was snubbed from the Hermes store, Oprah decided to get back at France by organizing massive riots, in which people's cars would be burned to the ground and widespread unrest would be unleashed on unsuspecting French housewives.

Because she's not that mean, she's planning on promptly doing a massive, live, show at the foot of the Eiffel tower, hand everyone in the audience a little package, and start jumping up and down, screaming "Everybody gets a new car!!!".

France

Labels: france, funny

11/07/2005 06:44:00 PM - - del.icio.us - digg