Sunday, January 13, 2008
Can we stop with the Female Empowerment shows? Between NBC's Lipstick Jungle and ABC's Cashmere Mafia (for fuck's sake), you know every other commercial this TV season is going to be for Vagisil or Curves ("be a powerful female executive and show Men how horrible they are, all the while by maintaining stellar vaginal hygiene!"). I thought there was a writers' strike? Besides, men-hatin' is supposed to be limited to Lifetime TV...

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Monday, April 09, 2007
Another great thing about plane trips is the ability to catch up on the hours of video stashed in my iPod. I'm far too cheap to subscribe to Showtime, but when I saw the first season of Weeds was up on iTunes, I couldn't resist.

Four words? Best Fucking Show Ever. And Elizabeth Perkins in the role of Celia Hodes is absolutely amazing! I am now completely addicted (no lame pun intended). I am now up to speed with Season 1 and catching up with Season 2.



On iTunes:

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Saturday, March 31, 2007


I was partaking in my favorite just-got-back-from-work pasttime of watching Barefoot Contessa reruns when the Magic of TV hit home. See, she goes to get a chicken at some farm in the Hamptons. Cue the shots of the quaint and adorable farm, with Mr. Farmer coming out with a white chicken in his arms, almost lovingly carrying it. Cut to next shot, literally, and he's handing Ina a wrapped bundle of meat, sans feathers or life. Magic! Next shot, of course, was Ina making sweet love to the bird and pouring butter all over it...

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Is there anything, anything at all in this world, that's more gay that a show about hairstylists on Bravo, hosted by Jaclyn Smith? Yup, I think not.

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007


It took me a couple of episodes to get into it, but I am liking FX's Dirt more and more. Courtney Cox still needs to grow her character a bit more, but the rest of the cast is becoming more cohesive (if that makes any sense) and the episodes are tied together well. A good use of my Tivo's hard drive...

Oh, and of course, Holt is totally cute - just had to say that.

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Monday, January 08, 2007


Oxygen, the other Television for Women, is set to start a show called Tease in which stylists compete doing, well, hair. The hostess is the lip-collagen addict Lisa Rinna (who should be about 6 months from the Surreal Life by now) and each episode "will feature two up-and-coming hair stylists as they face-off in an outrageous, Olympics-style tournament."

That's some good TV right there, people! Yet another golden opportunity for gay people to shine...

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Monday, December 18, 2006
If you want a study in absolute cattiness, head on over to Tom Shales' review of NBC's new game show, Identity. You really should read the whole article, but some tidbits are particularly juicy:
Bob Saget has experienced a brief and unnecessary career revival by filling the Mandel role on the execrable "1 vs. 100," another show of this ilk, and William Shatner, whose career now consists almost entirely of mortifying self-parody, also has done a Mandellian turn in ABC's horrific monstrosity "Show Me the Money."
First impressions can be accurate, of course, and one's first impression of "Identity" is likely to be that it is a miserably tedious mess
Similarly, the producers probably think they lucked out big time because their first contestant, a woman from Streamwood, Ill., is bouncy, noisy, shrieky, jolly and gabby as all get-out. She's everything you don't want at a dinner party but which producers do want on game shows. It could be, though, that they've miscalculated, because the contestant is so obnoxiously over-the-top from the get-go that many a viewer will stick around purely on the hope that she'll suffer a humiliating defeat [...] the peppery little barracuda does carry away, but we can say that she seldom passes up an opportunity to behave like an imbecile ("You know, No. 1 does look like a bad momma-jomma").
Now that, people, is talent.

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Thursday, August 31, 2006
By chance, I saw tonight UPN's review of their fall "sizzler", Fashion House, and I have to admit, I have to reserve judgment. Let's go over some pluses and minuses.

Plus: the cast includes Bo Derek, Morgan Fairchild, and Tippi Hedren (unforgettable in Hitchcock's The Birds); I'm not sure there could be a campier and gayer cast.

Minus: the promo was a bit annoying, executed within the premise of a real entertainment show interviewing the fake characters; reality meets fiction; been done before, with better results.

Plus: the cast also includes a certain Robert Buckley.



Minus: the synopsis is really, really, barf-inducing (emphasis mine):
A beautiful, young housewife embarks on a journey of self discovery after uncovering her husband’s infidelity. Michelle Miller divorces her overbearing mate and takes a job at the illustrious Fashion House, finally realizing her lifelong dream of becoming a successful clothing designer.

Soon, Michelle meets Luke, a painter, who is the son of the owner of Fashion House, and the two fall deeply in love. When Luke’s mother, Maria, and Michelle’s ex-husband, Lance, catch wind of their romance, all hell breaks loose.

Will Michelle become the spitting image of Maria Gianni, or will the promise of love conquer all? One thing is for certain. In the end, nothing will remain the same.

Plus: apparently, Mr. Buckley takes his shirt off, a lot. When he does, he looks like this (a couple more pics after the jump):



[+/-] Read More




Boys

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006


It was bound to happen, really. Big evil full-of-himself Stephen from Bravo's Top Chef has finally been eliminated from the competition by the fabulously bitchy-cold Katie Lee Joel. He was clearly humbled by the experience:
I will probably influence the industry and raise the bar to a level of excellence that I don't think has been achieved to date in this country.
It's really too bad he's so full of himself, 'cause the kid's got talent.
Media

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Friday, April 21, 2006
Lifetime has been playing over and over this promo for Cheerleader Nation where a poor girl goes for some acrobatics and, at some point, she seems to just fly up in the air, unsure of what she's even doing here in the first place. Poor thing. Let's do a continuous loop on that, so we can see better...


(Click image to animate.)
Funny

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Monday, April 17, 2006
Story on CNN about the creep who killed a little girl and had planned on eating her. Can't blame the Police Chief for trying to sugar-coat it (emphasis mine):
"Regarding a potential motive," Purcell Police Chief David Tompkins said Saturday, "this appears to have been part of a plan to kidnap a person, rape them, torture them, kill them, cut off their head, drain the body of blood, rape the corpse, eat the corpse then dispose of the organs and bones."
Funny

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Thursday, April 13, 2006


I almost feel bad for the Commander In Chief team over at ABC. Faced with the runaway success of the Housewives and being put on the Thursday night spot as a last resort, there's got to be an awful lot of pressure on these guys.

As a result, they're getting desperate to make Geena Davis' character even more likable than ever. Not content with being a woman running a country and still managing to find the time to tuck her kids* in at night, she's an Independent, bound to, if not please everyone, at least not piss off anyone. And then, in the first minutes of tonight's episode, we find out her plan for the State of the Union is to announce her initiatives to raise minimum wage, curb nuclear proliferation by unilaterally reduce the US arsenal, and fight homelessness. Quite a program!

*: I will, of course, gladly take over the job of tucking her son (played by 23 year-old Matt Lanter) in...
Media

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Monday, April 10, 2006


Speaking of annoying characters, I'm sorry, but anyone can stand David Caruso's character on CSI: Miami? His preening around being all smart and clever, always guessing that someone behind him is sighing or something, his little clever quips before the opening credits are just infuriating. Say somebody was killed by a sports car, it'd go something like this:
Cop: Witnesses saw a Ferrari hit him and speed away.
Horatio: Probably not the ride... he was looking for.
[Horatio puts sunglasses on and walks away]
[Cue in music]
Ugh! Shut up, smartass!
Funny

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Monday, April 03, 2006
The answer, if one looks at the example set by Tana, from the "Booksmart vs. Streetsmart" season, is a resounding no.

She is now stuck peddling the Bedazzler™ on late-night TV. Full of glee and enthusiasm, she promises you loads of Snap, Push and Pop! fun with the $19.99 gadget, sure to save you lots of money from not needing to shop at those expensive downtown Secaucus high-priced stores and allowing you to wear the latest in Joisey Couture.

What's hilariously tragic is that they can't even use the name of the Apprentice show. So she's stuck with lines such as "It's me, Tana, from National Television". Notice, though, the ever so subtle hint on the first picture. Beyond the bedazzled Baby Gap pink T-shirt heroically stretched over her ample bosom, they hover the word "Boardroom". As in "hint, hint, it's TANA! From the APPRENTICE!"



Oy. I fell for ya T, I feel for ya. To think, if you had won the finale, you could have judged a Donald Trump look-alike contest or been the keynote speaker at a real estate investment expo at the San Ramon Marriott.
Funny

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Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Funny how FOX really has sort of a knack for creating characters that are really just unpleasant. Contrary to my favorite show EVER, the main characters of Bones and House are just really, really aggravating.



There's the doctor who knows everything better than anyone else and who goes through life being a major asshole. He could save everyone a lot of time by just telling them the information they need but no, he has to be a dick about it. He'll make you beg for the info and then make fun of you for begging. This is aggravated by the fact that he always seems to have the final answers days before the others, but he likes to make 'em sweat a bit.

And then there's the forensic antropologist chick who is also so full of herself she's bursting at the seams. Something must've crawled up her ass and died because she's always angry at something. Probably at how the rest of the world is just too dumb to keep up with her exceedingly amazing intelligence. Added bonus, she can tell you, from a fingernail clipping, that the owner of said clipping was a 5'11 woman, age 32, who was a barmaid, died of a blow to the head, and had $1,295.76 on her bank account.

Isn't the point of a show to relate to the main character? A little bit?
Media

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Monday, January 30, 2006


Lifetime pulled from the Dish Network. No more Golden Girls or movies with possible titles such as:
  • Touched By An Uncle
  • Timmy's Tumor
  • STALKING MY STALKER
  • Why Always Me?! A martyr's true story
  • I STALKED MY RAPIST
  • I Raped My Stalker
  • My Wife and SIDS
Media

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Thursday, January 26, 2006
Oh Lifetime, in addition to giving me the Golden Girls, you also give me boys like Andrew Walker in your movies... I love you!


Boys

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Monday, January 02, 2006


Last night we finally got around to watching the season finale of Sex and the City. At the beginning of the Paris episodes, watching her car drive her up to her hotel, the gleaming building all around just exuding Parisianity, I actually got somewhat choked up. This year was the second time I am not in Paris for Christmas, and I miss it.

I relished in seeing Carrie's first-hand experiences in the city, from yummy pastry shops to cozy cafés, tree-lined streets to Mercedes taxis. But then, as Carrie comes to hate the city because she's all alone there, it came back, all the things that have enabled me to actually leave the city; the bitchy people, the incessant winter rain, the ubiquitous dogs and their shits, the attitude.

I now feel the same way about Paris as I do about New York: love it to death, but could not live there.
Life, Travel

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